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Siya's avatar

Great post! Some food for thought there, for sure.

I am my own devil's advocate and can argue with myself, but at times I struggle to see other people's point of view. It is something I am working on but it can be frustrating, I will admit. This is especially true in instances where, as a rather problem-solving type of friend, my help is only met with resistance. I cannot help but despair and give up (which is not exactly what a friend should do really..).

Baby steps, I suppose!

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Coffee Times's avatar

Thanks Siya. I appreciate your comment. For me, I live by a philosophy. When with friends, give opinions, not advice. People will appreciate your point of view but none will heed your advice. You may see your advice as help, but others perceive it as teaching them how to suck thumb. I won’t advice others how to suck their thumb, but I won’t mind sharing how I suck mine. ;)

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Siya's avatar

It is a very good philosophy to have, Winston. But I meant when I was asked for advice, gave it and that was thrown in my face :) In 2023, I will be trying to shrug it off and move on. My natural inclination is a more hands on approach to things. I am not particularly good with purely sympathy. I exercise it but I am not very convincing 😃 I will remember your thumb sucking analogy, however.

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Dave Karpowicz's avatar

Winston, Very nice job! D

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Coffee Times's avatar

Appreciate your dropping by Dave. Cheers!

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Michael Mohr's avatar

This is spot on. Excellent. I totally agree. Honestly I didn’t begin learning to pause and consider my reactions/words/approach until I got sober in 2010. Then I started getting into Buddhist meditation. Over time I realized how stilted and irrational my initial first emotional responses to life’s stimuli were. I’m not in any way claiming perfection or anything close to it. But overall I’m much less reactive than I once was. It’s truly a skill many in today’s world lack.

Michael Mohr

‘Sincere American Writing’

https://michaelmohr.substack.com/

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Coffee Times's avatar

I have always wanted to do a retreat, sort of a Vipassana Meditation that gives me ten days of reflection. Have made a lot of enquiries but never had the opportunity to take that final step. But it is still fresh on my mind and I am pretty certain I will be taking that step in the not so distant future. Wish me courage and luck.

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