3 Quotes That Will Turn Your Life Around
When you look at things with a growth perspective - no matter what you do, success is inevitable
I have had my share of feeling helpless, fragile and yearning for salvation. The worst is the feeling of being stuck without the ability to bail or escape. During such times, I face my dark voices and make many revelations about the reality of life.
I am sure I am not alone. Everyone will have their fair share of life’s colder side.
For example, the people around you suddenly became indifferent; some even turned their backs on you or began to distance themselves from you. And those who used to hang around also disappeared.
At first, you thought you were being sensitive but later realized things weren’t that simple. How would you feel when you realised you had been cancelled upon? To find out you have no strengths and you were but an unbearable torn in the eyes of others.
You may complain these people are too shrewd or grumble they are uncompassionate. But the truth is this world does not revolve around you, and your complaints are futile. Except for yourself, no one will bother to save you from the abyss.
Whenever you feel helpless, remember these three things, especially the last one.
1) The essence of social relations is the exchange of interests
“The essence of social relations is the exchange of interests.” — Karl Marx
Social Exchange is a process whereby social behaviour is exchanged for rewards of equal or greater value. This exchange is what sustains and keeps relationships going.
Whenever we give something in any relationship, we expect something in return; otherwise, there is no justification for the relationship to exist; hence it will self-terminate. This is what seems to govern people-to-people relationships.
Life is a simple game of equivalent exchange. Consciously or unconsciously, people will do a quick mental analysis of the benefits and costs involved in any social interaction. And they tend to get involved only in those relationships where they see the maximum benefits before interacting with someone.
Suppose your friend always asks you for favours; this means your relationship with your friend costs you significant resources. But, you like spending time with your friend as he/she is supportive, reliable and fun to be around. When you or your friend weigh the pros and cons, both of you prefer to stay in the friendship as there are benefits to both parties, even though one may benefit spiritually while the other financially.
But suppose you stop providing your friend favours but instead ask him for money, you will lose your value to him, and he may most likely choose not to friend you anymore without getting any favours, and if so, this friendship will end.
Understanding this social exchange theory is important as it allows you to be aware of the value you bring to any relationship and whether the other party would stay in the relationship or not if you suddenly lost your perceived value or, worst, became a liability. According to this theory, if there are more costs than benefits in any relationship, it will cease to exist.
If you want to keep your friends and contacts, you must make yourself more valuable. People enjoy the company of those who can help them in life. If you want them to help you, you must also help them. Only if so will you continue to enjoy a community of support even when you are not doing well or suddenly become unsuccessful.
People are simple; if you understand the value you bring to each relationship, you won’t be caught by surprise or become disappointed when things don’t go your way.
2) What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, — Friedrich Nietzsche
If a person regularly experiences ups and downs and continues to survive, then he has developed a strong survival system. The essence of this “system” is his attitude toward suffering.
Often, people see suffering as the consequence of failure. You suffer because you did something wrong. But suffering is not just something that happens to us – it is bound up in who we are as creatures that grow and evolve: “all becoming and growing,” Nietzsche wrote, “all that guarantees the future, postulates pain.” To take joy in the future means willing the destruction of the present.
At some point in everyone's life, stressful circumstances can activate painful emotions in response. Sometimes that difficult circumstance can appear suddenly… you don't see it coming at all. And the overwhelming negative emotions that follow are assimilated into suffering.
Suffering can kill you if you are weak and do not seek to understand its purpose. This is why many people succumb to it. But it can also make you stronger if you know how to take advantage of it. What suffering does is it creates a drive that causes our focus to turn inward, to face those parts of ourselves we might otherwise ignore. Understanding this can allow you to turn suffering into a force to develop yourself into a better person. If you see it as a force of change and ride it toward a positive change, it can transform you in ways you cannot imagine.
3) Everything happens for a reason
“Everything that happens, happen for a reason.” — Aristotle
Everything happens for a reason. Purpose and growth can be gained from whatever tough times you face. All life's challenges offer you a chance to transform, helping you rise stronger.
Whatever is happening in your life, don’t preoccupy yourself with the question “why”? Ponder more on to where these events will be leading you. Know you are being led to somewhere beautiful beyond your present harsh reality. Once you get to the “where”, you’ll know the “why.”
Indeed, everything happens for a reason! That nasty break-up you’ve endured, the job you’ve lost or the promotion you’ve missed. You can choose to redefine those lousy experiences into positive opportunities…
Missing the promotion was the best thing to happen to you, showing you there are better things in life than work and increments.
Breaking up was the best thing to happen to you, forcing a change to be a better you.
Losing your job was the best thing to happen to you, opening up doors for you to pursue the dream you have always wanted.
In other words, what may have initially seemed frustrating or painful can be experienced as an empowering growth opportunity.
Rather than being a victim of the circumstances and feeling sorry for yourself, it is better to accept what has happened, face them, take advantage of the flow and improve yourself. Be happy that you are chosen for the transformation while others are still stuck in their old ways. Take advantage of your situation to explore new grounds and new growth.
Takeaways
Everything in life has its rhythm and flow. The ups and downs are simply part of this universal flow. There is no need to judge right or wrong, good or bad, for everything that comes your way is here to help you grow. If you can adopt an open mindset and look at all kinds of experiences with a growth perspective - no matter what you do, success is inevitable.
Thank you for reading to the end. I hope you have enjoyed it.
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In life’s continual high wire act we find, like Aristotle’s Golden Mean, that the greatest success is found between too much of either extreme - even too much good.