Finding Meaning in Moments of Waiting

Getting stuck in a traffic jam for hours can be an incredibly frustrating experience

Jam on the causeway toward Singapore

I went with some friends to neighbouring Johor Bahru (JB), Malaysia, for a day-off excursion to savour some good food and do fine shopping. JB is a popular destination for Singaporeans seeking affordable pleasure and escapades away from their home country.

We set off from Singapore on a Friday at 6 am. Getting into Malaysia through the JB land custom in the wee hours of the morning wasn’t too much of a hassle. It took less than half an hour to clear the custom into Malaysia. Our visit programme in JB consists of breakfast, shopping, lunch, and more shopping, then dinner. It was an amazing experience, a story I will save for another day.

Here I will talk about the traffic I experienced returning from JB after a sumptuous dinner. The dinner ended before 7 pm, and thereafter we were immediately on our way back to Singapore, but soon as I approached the checkpoint on the JB side, there was already a long line ahead of me.

The causeway connects Singapore to Malaysia and is a major entry and exit point for hundreds of thousands of commuters and travellers every day. It is known to be congested, especially during peak hours and holidays, causing long queues and delays.

It's not uncommon for travellers to be stuck waiting to cross the causeway, but from what I have experienced, it was excessive. This is a significant source of stress and frustration as well as an unappealing experience that discourages people from planning a long weekend trip across the border.

There is a mobile website to check on the traffic condition on your phone, and the picture indicated that I was behind a queue with a long wait ahead. It is normal to have a queue, and Singaporeans love joining queues. Whatever we are queuing for, so long it’s good, we wouldn’t mind queuing. But this queue is unique, it didn’t move an inch for the last 15 mins. By then, the line had grown beyond what the camera could see.

The picture shows I was within three hours to SG (Singapore). It wasn’t lying, and neither did it tell the whole truth. By the time we reached home, it was nearly midnight. The entire getting home process lasted for close to five hours.

When stuck in traffic, it is frustrating, no doubt and if given a choice, I would have chosen to avoid it. Yet the time to avoid has passed; there is nothing else one can do at that moment but wait. If so, there is really no point worrying and letting the anxiety get all over my head. It will only spiral negatively down the hole.

When I am forced to slow down, I find no need for the hectic rush. People in such situations often find ways to make the most of the situation. The chatty ones will entertain one another; the lazy ones will catch up on their sleep; and the earnest ones will plan to prioritize their tasks, getting themselves organized.

But I had limited opportunity for a fruitful conversation because my fellow passengers were fast asleep, plus there wasn’t much to talk about that could last five hours. As a driver, sleeping wasn’t an option; the only real options were either to use this as an opportunity for reflection and introspection or allow it to get on my nerves and start cursing everyone in my head. There is still a choice, albeit a much narrower one.

Since I was stuck, I started wondering about the value of time. Time is one of the most precious resources, and when stuck in traffic, I am constantly reminded of how much time I waste. I can't get the time back, so it's best not to further waste it on frustration or anger but ask how I can better use it instead. It is a liberating experience, reflecting while waiting, a process that triggers deep questioning.

I am stuck with other people who are also stuck in a similar situation. There is a sense of connection, we may never see these people in our lives, yet we are all in this together, waiting at this very moment.

When we think about life, it is not hard to notice that we spend much of our lives waiting. We wait in a jam, and we wait for appointments, for the bus or train, for the weekend or vacation, for the right job opportunity, for the perfect partner, and even for our dreams to come true.

Waiting is frustrating, sometimes even painful. But waiting is an essential part of life. It can be an opportunity to cultivate patience, resilience, and perseverance, qualities that are essential for success and fulfilment in life. Waiting forces us to find time to appreciate the present moment and to find joy in the journey. It can be easy to become so focused on the future that we forget to enjoy the present. By embracing the waiting process and finding ways to make the most of our current time, we can find meaning in all aspects of our lives.

Waiting is unavoidable, but this doesn't mean that we should simply accept waiting as a necessary evil. The long wait at the borders and the resulting fatigue have put off my desire for a long weekend trip during the upcoming school holidays.

Nevertheless, I have thoroughly enjoyed my JB trip, but no more, please. It took me five hours to liberate myself from the jam. Good heavens! On the bright side, I got this piece well thought out during the jam.

This is what I do in moments of waiting. If you enjoy my vibes, I hope you can help by clicking the little heart and sending some love this way. I am having a bad day today.

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