A fly flew and rested on the head of a cow for a long time. When leaving, it said to the cow, "I'm going to fly away." The cow ignored it and continued to graze. Not getting a response, the fly said again: "I am really leaving!" The cow said casually: "I didn't notice you came, and it won’t bother me if you leave."
Sometimes it is chilling to see ignorant people overestimating their importance. They don’t understand that no one is indispensable. The sun will continue to rise regardless of whether the rooster crow or not, and people’s lives go on with or without them.
I haven’t reached retirement age, but I am already planning for it. One thing that kept coming to mind is the reality that we must be prepared to do things independently. No one is indispensable. Prepare yourself, for there will come a time when you will no longer matter to this world or the people around you. The best way is to equip yourself with the ability to be independent and alone without being lonely. Here are three things I want to share that may also help you feel the positivity of being alone.
Solitude is an indulgence
Li Bai (李白), an acclaimed Chinese poet from the ancient Tang Dynasty, once said: “舉杯邀明月,對影成三人”. The poem captured Li Bai’s state of being, which can be translated as “I raise my cup to invite the moon, along with my shadow, we are three people”. It described LiBai’s solitude with his imaginary friends.
Li Bai was a highly talented man. He wanted to make a difference and went to serve the court. Under the recommendation of his friend, he entered the Hanlin Academy. Unfortunately, things backfired. Because he was associated with Prince Yong, he was implicated and imprisoned when Prince Yong fell out of power. Coupled with his dissatisfaction with the emperor's stupidity, he bid farewell to officialdom and retired to become a wanderer.
As a wanderer, Li Bai fell in love with writing poetry and drinking wine and thought it was the greatest happiness in life. It wasn’t a complicated source of happiness, he was finding ways to make his solitude a form of indulgence.
When you know how to enjoy solitude, nothing can scare you. Even if the surrounding is dark, it does not matter, there are stars and the moon as a company; if these are not available, even a dark cloud can make you feel warm.
Your mind is your strength
The mind is the centre of life. No matter how beautiful your skin is, if your mind becomes ugly, you will not be beautiful; no matter how difficult your life is, if you have happy ripples emanating from your mind, there will always be smiles.
The state of being arises from the mind. While you can't dominate every aspect with your might, you can embrace everything with your mind.
Everyone goes through a period of "ignorance". Thinking so long as you keep up with superficial relationships with others, they will be able to help you in the future. Until one day, those who seem to be able to help you reject you ruthlessly.
The good thing is that your mind will become stronger after each setback and hurt. It will come to a point the hypocrisy of others will not harm you. When you are used to being on your own, even if you can't become a tall mountain, you will still be a small hill high enough where the flood of worries couldn’t overwhelm you.
Let go of the past and face the future with confidence
All emotions belong to the past. When you don't let it bother you, the traces left by the years will be faint, and you will have joy like the wind passes by without leaving any trace.
To get used to being alone, simply let the past dissipate into the passing wind and then take every step forward calmly and confidently.
Be a strong person, don't be afraid of setbacks, and don't be afraid of failures; they don’t mean you are a loser but a door to new opportunities. If you are destined to go alone, be happy you are not in social circles you don’t belong to and don’t have to subject yourself to other people's moods.
This world is complex, with all kinds of people and matters. But in essence, it is still your world. If you are clear, your world will be clean. If you are simple, your world will not be complicated.
Enjoy your solitude; enjoy the aura of life!
Thank you for reading to the end. I hope you have enjoyed it.
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What a lovely article, Winston. I'm catching up with my reading as I spent a week happily tromping around in Scotland. I realize how fortunate I am, because the pandemic gave me an extended opportunity to be by myself and I learned how much I enjoyed that. I discovered that I find companionship with all kinds of beings and things and relished my time with Spirit too. Now I've reconfigured my life to be in solitude (from people) most of my days while enjoying the vibrancy and vitality of life around me. It's all good.
I feel lonely a lot. I live alone. No family here. Have been reaching and reaching to make new friends. I think there is an illusion in my mind that I cannot be okay depending on myself. This article helped to reinforce the fact that I can not only be okay alone in solitude but I can be happy and at peace.